Another Commuter Rant

And yes, this is another entry about my drive to and from work! Why do you ask?

So, let's get started, shall we?

To you, you...little blue Acura RSX who tried to pass me on the left when you clearly knew there was only one (one!) lane onto Route 78 West. You almost clipped me and you were also very close to ripping off my rear view mirrow as well as knocking out my front bumper. Please take off that BlueTooth thing that's going on. Believe me, you're just not that important.

To the woman who was driving the grey Acura...you're another one that should cool her heels in trying to merge into stopped traffic on Route 78 when we're all stopped. I really don't care how upset you are, but do you realise you were almost flattened by that truck because he didn't see you?

No? Really?

Aw, hell... if you're crying into your coffee, just pull over. Really, and I'm sorry.

Now, you, the one in the lime green Lotus...don't you ever, ever, ever pull that move in front of me ever, ever again, because I will report you.

I don't care how important you are, or who you are, but you almost caused a four car pileup. You cut across six (yes! six!) lanes of traffic on the Garden State Parkway this afternoon without any regard for oncoming traffic.

Please feel free to go to hell. Do not pass Go, and do not collect 200 dollars.

And, this is the tough one.

Hey, Grandma? Yes, you can go now. No, no...feel free to take your time, I'm going to hold up traffic until you decide when it's safe.

Yes, now's a good time. Oh, you don't think so? Okay, I'll wait some more.

Yeah, it looks good to me, so go and make your left, and I'm waving to you for a reason. You can go now.

Well, thanks for the wave back...it's nice to see that we've established communication with each other, but I understand that making this left out of the supermarket parking lot is a tough one. I do it a lot, and it's a bitch.

I'm also backing up traffic up to freakin' Metuchen, and you also have nine people in back of you just dying to make this left turn too, but, that's okay, really.

Now, don't make me do this...it looks good...go!

Oh, you won't. You're still waving at me, and you've probably created the worst traffic jam in Pathmark history.

And now, you're smiling at me and waving! You've got your hazards on, and then you decide to peal off in your '78 Lincoln Town Car.

And make a right.